Unisha Aryal
No means No is an anti-rape slogan which gives importance to sexual content. What is the first things that comes to your mind when you think the word ” Rape”? Everyone knows, it is the crime of forcing a person to submit to sexual intercourse against his or her will. One syllable. Four letters. Some people have to live with that word keeping in their mind forever. Because the feeling of being touched against your will never goes away. Also the pain you felt in the moment and the pain you felt when it was over will nag at you for the rest of your life, which is the fate of a victim. We often heard the term “rape culture”. In simple words, culture is a tradition. It is society and customs. But, it is also the mentality. And the world where we are living, this mentality is becoming more toxic than ever. Is rape a tradition? No, and it will never be as well. It is a serious crime. It is the wrong word which is joined by the way of people’s thinking. Rape culture is a concept that’s been institutionalized in our society which makes sexual violence inevitable. This is because we allow it to happen. We allow them when we victim blame, objectify bodies. We allow it when we accept the rapist to get away with a light sentence. We allow it when we stick to the belief that ” only women get raped” and laugh when the roles are reversed. We allow when we don’t blink an eye at a cry for help. We allow it when many cases of rape goes unreported because of “rape culture” itself (when victims are too afraid to press charges or testify in the fear of what people will say or think and whether they will get justice they deserve.
Now, think about the words “yes” and “no”.
Yes means agreed and no means disagreed. They have vast differences. Though we know it’s meaning, that’s so simple. I am okay, let’s go, of course, all right phrases are yes whereas, I don’t know, not now, I am not comfortable, this is not the right time phrases are no. No can also be proved by showing actions like struggling and trying to leave, shouting and calling people for help. They all are the signs of no. Look it is simple when we talk but why is this being so difficult to understand when it comes to consent? Consent is the permission to do something. It will always mean approval for something. Then, why not to the particular thing consent where a simple no is no. Simply having the gut feeling that tells you no is enough to justify every choice you will ever make for the rest of your life. Some of the rapists also say that they even don’t know what the phrases like not now, I am not comfortable means? There are many questions to be raised.
Being drunk and going to clubs doesn’t guarantee consent. Wearing dresses of their own choices and going wherever, these all things will never guarantee consent. Being modern doesn’t guarantee consent. No always means no. It doesn’t mean convince me. This wrong message which is prevailing in our society.
Sexual activities which are crime according to law are not the issues which have to be taken lightly. It must be observed and take serious action for the offender. These issues are not to be refused and minimized rather they have to be given more priority and strict law must be applicable. It is not an issue you can ignore because it doesn’t affect you. It affects you too. Whether you know them or not, whether you will remember their faces or not, it will continue to be an impending problem unless everyone stands together to do something about it. While starting, the first and foremost thing to do is make yourself aware as much as you can. Like, educating yourself and your friends about wrong doings and the meaning of consent. Letting out all the negativity and toxicity of rape and consent from your mind than you can do something. First we must start from ourselves to change our mind-set and then society’s.
According to John Oliver, “Consent is like boxing. If both people do not agree to it, then one person is committing a crime.” Giving consent for one activity, one time doesn’t mean giving consent for increasing or recurring sexual content. You can change your mind and decision at any time. Consent often plays an important role in determining whether an act is legally considered a crime. Many public health professionals, activists and educators who design the sexual violence interventions have called for complex conceptualizations of communication, yet communication studies scholars have not written extensively on consent. It would be always understood as the approval for something.
Anyone can be a victim, no matter their age, gender or sexual orientation. But, certain groups of people are more likely than others to experience sexual assault in their lives. Sexual violence doesn’t happen in one single way. There doesn’t need to be a weapon involved and the victim doesn’t need to have to fought back, screamed, or said “no” repeatedly in order for it to count as rape or sexual assault. Most sexual assault doesn’t happen by strangers in dark alleyways. Often, it’s someone who the victim knows and even their life partners as well as boyfriend and girlfriend. The “No means No” has it’s root in R. v Ewanchuk, a case involving the issues of consent and sexual assault. Steve Ewanchuk was a 47-year-old man charged with the sexual assault of a 17-year-old girl during a job interview in his trailer. At both the trial and the Alberta Court of Appeal, Ewanchuk raised the defence of implied consent because the girl didn’t scream, struggle or try to escape from his sexual advances, although she said no repeatedly. The concept of “no” actually does mean no, that there is no such thing in the law as implied consent to sexual assault, is a very important legal principle in the battle against violence against women.
It is crucial that many of us, from a very young age, are taught to have a clear and strong voice in regards to our rights-especially about our bodies. And, also every young age and teenagers must be taught about their rights. In this way, they will have the confidence to speak up when they feel uncomfortable or not right in any situation. With the prevalence today of online and offline bullying and various forms of abuse such as physical, emotional, mental and sexual abuse; young people need to learn from their early ages to always speak up when their rights are not being respected. No is not just a word. It’s a full sentence in itself. It doesn’t need any explanation and argument. When one person says no the other person has to stop though the person who is rejecting is your friend, husband/wife, or even a sex worker. When someone says no you have to stop. A world where ‘No!’ does actually mean ‘No!’ can be a world with far less violence and increased respect for mankind.